Need advice on potty training a 4 year old boy?

My husband and I have 3 kids. Our youngest is 4 and he is well behaved, very social and sweet. He does really well going pee in the potty. He is having problems with going poop on the potty. We are bathing him twice a day b/c he just does not want to go on the potty. We have tried everything. we are always giving him positive reinforcement, we do not scold him when he goes in his pants. But, it seems like he just likes going poop in his pants! His sister practically potty trained herself at 2 yrs. old and his older brother was about 3. We have tried to make the potty as inviting as possible, with toys and books to play with as he sits. We have sat him on the potty after he eats. I am serious, we have tried everything! Has anyone gone through this? Does anyone know what might work? Please serious answers only! He just turned 4 in January and we would like him to go to pre-school next year, but he won't be able too unless he is fully potty trained. I am the one home with him all day.

Need advice on potty training a 4 year old boy?
My son was close to 4 when he was potty trained. Naturally we tried to do it earlier, but his emotions weren't ready for it. Our once bubbley happy boy became very down and depressed each time we tried. So we gave up and waited until he wanted to. It took him starting preschool to get him to that place. Within a week of preschool, he saw that everyone else was not wearing diapers and was going pee and poop on the toilet. He went dry day and night OVERNIGHT and he NEVER had an accident. My friend has a boy the same age. She was SO proud of herself that her boy was trained at 2. But at 5 years old he was still having accidents and they were so often that he ended up still wearing pull ups at night. Compare that to my boy - he was trained later, but dry all at once and with no accidents - simply because he was ready.





Don't push him, there's nothing wrong with you or him, ignore people who put pressure on you saying that it's weird. It's not worth crushing that bubbly loving character for the sake of pride and to save a few months of diapers. He's change when he's ready, you have educated him and now he needs to make the right choice at the right time.
Reply:iwishiweresomewheretro....





Way to break a child's spirit. Your children must feel very loved. Think about the advice you are giving before you submit your answer!!!
Reply:Collect data... see when he is pooping and develop a toileting schedule around that. Also, just because you are using positive reinforcement does not mean you are using it correctly... You may have to change the reinforcer, or make it bigger/better. Additionally, at that age, cognitively, they may not put together the feeling of going to the bathroom and getting there on time. It may be more of an internal thing as opposed to one where he has consious effort...





Put him on a toileting schedule, and make a token board representation of the times when he uses the toilet. The idea is to reinforce toilet use on a schedule (even if he doesn't poop). That will increase his compliance to the toileting schedule. Make a token board representation. I downloaded a picture of darth vadar and cut it up into 7 pieces and laminated. I then used velcro to fasten the pieces into place to form a puzzle. Each time they earn, add a piece to the puzzle. Do not take away for failing... Just keep doing what you're doing. He'll pick it up. All kids learn to pee before poop... he'll pick it up.
Reply:OK...positive reinforcement is obviously not working!!!! I agree that he should be the one to start cleaning it up....make him sit in it for a while. He is 4 years old...not 2...you have to make him realize that this behavior is NOT acceptable. If you keep cleaning him up and acting like it isn't a big deal he is going to keep on doing it. I am not saying you have to scream and yell but you have to make sure he knows that 4 year olds are to poop in the potty not in their pants. I would start taking away his favorite toys and not let him have them back until the problem is solved.
Reply:I agree with that last answer, yes you are doing everything right but nothing seems to be working. He's 4 and it's time he realizes he should go poop in the toilet. My niece was the same way, when my sister let her sit in it until she cried to be changed and she only had to do it about 7 times literally and from then on she picked up going to the potty real fast. I know it sounds rude but trust me it really does work think about it. Good luck!
Reply:Then what's up with YOU that you would let this continue for so long??? You make HIM clean up the mess! Make him wash out his pants and clean up! Let him cry, throw a fit or whatever, but make him do it!!! When he finds out how much work it is, he will stop! Get him up in the morning and make him sit on the pot til he goes! Move the thing in the living room if you have to! You could also try explaining how disgusting it is and that only babies poop in their diapers. Ask him if he wants to wear diapers again. If he says no, then tell him that's just what will happen if he does it again and then DO IT!!! Why would he want to stop? When he does it, Mommy comes and pays attention to him and gives him a bath and never says anything, and never yells at him for it! He has no motivation to stop!!!
Reply:Inform him calmly that the next time he goes poop in his pants and not in the potty, he will be sitting in it for a very long time. Keep him in it until he is very bothered by it and is begging to be changed. After a few times of this he should get the picture. My son just turned 4 a few days ago and if he was going poop in his pants still he'd be expecting to get in trouble for it.
Reply:At age 4 you have the benefit of clearer communication! Talk to your son about his discomfort when he poops in his pants instead of the potty. Also, talk to him about how it is easier for you if he uses his potty. Let him know that he is a big help when he uses the potty to poop in. Most 4 year olds are eager to be helpful!